Damiana Amor Bumotad

April 12, 1930 - January 28, 2021

Remembrance for Damiana

You left too soon and I forever regret being so far for so long. I know you blessed everyone around you. Anyone who knew you loved you.

We remember Damiana for her generosity and her radiant warmth. That phrase—she radiates warmth—came from a dear friend of mine, who met Damiana a few times in the past, when I showed my friend her picture yesterday. We remember her joy and her wit, her stubborn humility, her famous kitchen brilliance.  Her voice was music when she spoke and angels when she sang.

Here is a story she told me long ago, a child’s eye on World War II: bombs fell and “cut the trees” (that was her phrase, and I saw the tall palms swaying). “My Tatay was so scared!” she said, that he leapt into the water for the carabao. When he came out, she told me, “we were laughing!”—children amazed to see their mighty father all muddy and wet.

On our last phone call we reminisced the time we canoed the Huron River in Ann Arbor, dodging tree branches and avoiding capsize, unlike my own Nanay and Tatay in the other boat. Then she was 76.

Damiana, I am heartbroken we will have no more stories and adventures together, that my son will not play by your feet. If only I can carry it along with me, I will pass along what I can of your beautiful soul, especially to my son. This is as much a remembrance as a prayer. I am grateful for everyone who cared for her. She cared infinitely for us.

Cranky records

I am a middle-aged woman offended by the infantilizing #likeagirl pseudo-empowerment campaign on my sanitary napkins. Statistically, a small minority of menstrual product users are girls, mainly because of the vast beyond-girl time before menopause. New topic: want percentage of sex is/was consensual, globally and historically until the present? Has it tipped over 50% yet, and if so, when did that happen? Taking this question seriously might be eye-open regarding the real status of humanity, women especially, worldwide. Also can try to pin a number country-wise, or compare the statistic for sub-populations. New topic: have you heard what marauding male grizzlies do to mama bears with cubs? Nature red in tooth and claw. One of the better arguments for veganism: there is no default morality in whatever comes naturally. New topic: if I were a twitterer I’d complain about the portrayal of normal treatment of mental patients in the 2018 movie Halloween, as well as the stupidity of marking off a man chained to a central point using a *square* rather than circular perimeter. The back button is wonky so pls replace “normal” with “acceptable.” Where was the WTF reaction from the smarmy podcasters visiting that place? New topic: China is reportedly succeeding at surveillance state, imprisoning minorities, and organ-harvesting from FalunGong members. My country has concentration camps. The basest and lowest common denominators flourish, strongmen proliferate, the rich get richer and black lives needlessly buried on the regular. Plus the weather. It’s not all bad news. My child is marvelous. Maximize the love one can give. The threatening horizon. Look to the helpers. Must do what one can.

oh, how

i love my husband!